Clay gave me a nice gift that we found Thursday after the funeral. Clay did not leave a note. This is something that has really upset me. How could he not think of those of us that would be so broken? How could he not think of me, that I have already lived through a suicide with my father? How could he not think about the comfort we would have in a piece of paper that held some answers? How could he not say something to let us know he cared instead of leaving us hanging?
When we went to get the car we found out that he did have a picture album they found with him. It was near his person. The pictures ranged from his early youth to his adulthood. It was apparent that he made this compilation of the people that were most important in his life. There is no other explanation of the random assortment that spanned multiple decades. I think it gave him comfort in his last moments and it was a way, for those of us in the pictures, to know we were important to him. My picture was in there four times out of the fifteen pictures. I found comfort knowing I was special enough to him that he wanted a picture of me in his last moments. This was especially comforting after all the issues with his mom. Even though she did not feel I was worth any acknowledgement as his wife, Clay did. It was a wonderful gift that helped my heart. Thank you Clay.
1 comments:
I am so glad that Clay chose to have this. Even though I know it was meant for him, maybe in some way he knew what a comfort it would be for those that love and mourn him.
When Matt read your email about this it literally broke him, in a healing way. Even though their relationship was sometimes strained in the past Matt always loved and wanted to have Clay as his brother. He was proud of what Clay had accomplished as a paramedic and knew that he helped so many through that service.
It gave us comfort knowing their were pictures of Matt and Kate in his album. What a beautiful gift that he left.
Post a Comment